Lochgelly Classic show day
The bleary eyes are persueded open with the piping hot shower as the tan residue from last nights last coat finds it’s own colourful path to the plughole. Were up and running and it’s almost time to set off to Scotland for the Lochgelly Classic for the open invitational pro/am class. It’s the first time iv been back to this area of Scotland since 1988 when i was priveledged to open one of Dave Williams then famous Bodyshops. That’s the day i actually met a young James Salmond who was just starting his bodybuilding journey. Now, 26 years later he was inviting me to his own show….that’s bodybuilding.
Breakfast consists of a half pound battered steak with a bag of rice and half tin of salad crisp sweetcorn for moisture. DNA LEAN CLA & test fx booster with vitamin C and almost ready for the little 5 hour jaunt to the Lochgelly Classic in bonnie Scotland. The previous week we had travelled to the Hercules Olympia in Colchester and gained 2nd place in a close run short ass class, and now it was round two. The competetive season has started very early for me this year, but if your in shape, why not. It’s an honour and a priveledge to be able to represent my sponsors Fitness connection gym and DNA LEAN as a DNA LEAN sponsored athlete.
Over the years iv tried most and many more different ways of show preperation. The main thing is forget about water issues until 3 days before a show and just concern yourself with getting the bodyfat down while maintaining as much muscle mass as possible. I usually like to fluid load with an exaggerated mineral balance, heavier on potassium, magnesium and calcium while maintaining a low sodium level. Today however, to get to the Lochgelly Classic i’ll be travelling for 5 hours and i know it’ll probably be better if i keep a touch drier and constantly snack throughout the journey. If i load the tissues with simpler carbs heavilly loaded with potassium and moderate my fluid intake for the journey, it will leave me plenty of options once i arrive at the venue with a couple of hours free. All i gotta do is fill the car up with kitbag inc posing music, briefs, tan top up and stretchy bands, food, inc, chicken banana chips, apricots and popcorn and were off.
So here we are, Loz and i, wedged back into the Fiat 500 and off we go. Leonard Cohen is the first disc for the journey today with an album called ‘The Future’, not my favourite Leonard Cohen album, that’s gotta be ‘songs of Love and Hate’, but we’ve got a far more expansive collection than we had last week when we knocked the socks off Tom Waites’s Bone Machine and the earth dies screaming. Today we even brought a bit of Damien Rice, David Gray…wehey. Four hours and 35 minutes later and were pulling into Lochgelly after making good time on a bright and breezy motorway and We even got to go over a huge bridge that looked a bit like the one in Hull but we didn’t have to pay a toll.
Outside the arena there was an abundance of big, bustling bodybuilders and that was just the women. That’s the beauty of bodybuilding on show day, you walk around all normal like with this brown shit on your face, with white ears, and still have a serious conversation with the local shopkeeper, and he even pretends not to notice it looks like you smoke 100 capstan full strength a day, when you pass him the money. In we go and immediately drop onto multi Mr Universe winner Ian Lawrence. Big hugs and 20 minutes of chit chat and i’m still trying to fathem the first sentence after being stood like a nodding churchill dog for 18 of it. Then the enigmatic James Salmond sees us, asks if we’ve eaten at which point i say no, while flicking the remnents of popcorn from my DNA Lean hoodie, and it’s to the buffet and into the embrace of the wonderful Scottish hospitality offered. Time for a DNA LEAN XY to help transport some of this energy into the muscles for the show in a couple of hours time.
Im feeling pretty good and have a fullness to the muscles that i have been trying to get for the last 3 or 4 shows. Usually the nervous energy that’s created on the day, burns all your calories, but today i’m cool and so much looking forward to the battle ahead in the pro/am. I’v been told that Steph Sinton, former overall NABBA Mr Universe was in the class, so it’s gonna be a tough one. However, i always prepare to be at my best so i never have any fears. Win or lose, if i’v left no stone unturned in my preperation, i’m a happy bunny.
Showtime and it’s time to go backstage. Loz picks up a vodka and coke from the bar and we find a little corner to perch in. The vodka and coke ain’t for me it’s for Loz to sip in between touching up the top coat of dream tan. I prefer to sip water and let the heat of the stage lights do the work, so i just light stretch and contract, use my stretchy bands and relax. There’s gonna be more than enough adrenaline expended when were out there, so yup, i chill more than pump. “Five minutes to go”, comes from the ultra efficient backstage manager, at which point our class moves from the tan stained dressing rooms to the rear curtain area. Loz disappears to the other side of the rear stage and finds a vantage point where she can kick start the Samsung Galaxy Note 2 camera phone on video mode.
Moving from the dressing rooms to the backstage area always heightens the buzz and there’s always a noticeable temperature and atmosphere change where you know that very soon your gonna be walking out onstage in a skimpy pair of pants covered in brown stuff, and you ain’t got a bat or any boxing gloves, it’s just you in ya pants. The adrenaline really starts to pump as we line up in numerical order, just behind the curtain. You can hear the buzz of anticipation from the eagerly awaiting crowd as the class is announced onstage. Here we go, stick your arms out like ya work for Mikes carpets, do the walk as if your balls are watermelons, give it the peacock chest and smile like a cheshire cat on amphetamine, and walk. The only thing your generally gonna see is the blinding stage lights but i always seem to know where to find Loz, and there she is, pointing the galaxy my way and giving me a flash.
The quarter turns and comparisons are always hard fought affairs, especially in this company. But Steph knows he’s in for a fight this time, so the healthy, respectful posedown has us gasping and grunting to a baying audience who are bringing the house down. My posing round seemed to get a fantastic response as i tried to push the boundaries of my previous presentations. Were now in the final battle posedown and the crowd are in full flow, the music is blaring to we are the champions, the mc asks us to posedown in the audience at which point i’m in the front row, and giving a lovely lady a kiss on the cheek and a couple of dream tan hand prints on her cream top, before i look around to see there’s only me in the audience and the others are still onstage. Well in for a penny, in for a pound, it’s pounce up onto the judges table to carry on the posedown, at which point i hear the distinctive voice of another overall Mr Universe champion Andy Polhill, “yer fkn crazy kev” laughing. In the end i’m awarded 3rd place in an open class of all shapes and sizes, and pushed one of bodybuildings real heros all the way, with a giant man in between us. Best be off then, next stop NABBA N/E in Batley, guest appearence 11th May, gonna be special.